KaleidoscopicPanda

She’s hanging out her window at three A.M., watching ashes dance out of reach on the wind From a cigarette that she wishes she didn’t feel as if she needed In order to stop her from doing something even more self destructive, And she is invisible. I wish I were as close to her as that stream of nicotine is; I wish I could stain her brain with vibrant colors and thoughts, I wish I could convince her that she’s better than this. Her body is littered in scars. Her head is loud and crowded with every name and insult she’s ever had directed at her, And there isn’t a name that they can call her that she hasn’t a

My best friend of too many years to count once told me, “The best feeling in the world is being loved by a person Who hates damn near everyone.” And I replied, “Oh, yes, Because you would know this.” I should've put two and two together, However, because she told me this right after I mentioned Offhandedly, how I thought being able to head slap somebody And them instantly knowing why and what their act of stupidity Had been would be the most spectacular superpower to ever have. I'm ashamed to say that it did take me a few seconds to realize She was talking about me. Once I did, however, I thought it was funny, I still

This poem is dedicated to my old bullies and to the teachers Who did nothing to stop them, to the Board of Education members who know nothing about positive contraception methods and Teaching this stuff in our classrooms, to the politicians who think They can police a woman's body when they can't even control their own; This is something I wrote in hopes of hitting Society below the belt, And this is meant for everybody and everything else that keeps jacking my shit up. This is an ode to I don't care anymore. To the family members Who were angry with me instead of patient when I needed them to understand the most. To my passions Like hatred

I've always been a curious person, sometimes even border-lining on rude. And some might figure that it's because my mother's name was Catherine, Shortened to Cat, and I grew up calling her 'Meow' instead of 'Mom' ; I suppose I might as well chalk it up to that, too. Along with curiously rude, I was a little weirdo, but I figure by now, who isn't? I've yet to meet a sane person On this Earth, but I have met you. And I've seen another world in your eyes, Better than this one, and I'd rather be there with you than here any day. But back it up. Because this isn't just another love poem. Being a curious person, I tend to learn a lot. And one of th

I was thirteen years old, sitting in the middle of a school cafeteria, When I had the stunning revelation that I was probably the only person On this Earth that had both a god complex and a large amount of Self-hatred to rival it. Thinking back on that stunning revelation, I now realize that, while the god complex and self-hatred thing was true, I am also a bloody, raging idiot. Because I know now, that other people Feel that way, too. I was standing in the lunch line, listening in on some Nobody's conversation, cringing in time with the rape joke he dropped And the degrading punch line; realizing with different levels of horror That he was s

I grew up an angry person But I grew up muffled and muted, too. Like Kenny off of South Park, except when my hood finally came off, I wasn't saying, “Goodbye, you guys,” I was screaming, “Well fuck you!” I hit seventh grade with the soundtrack of going down swinging Screeching out of my headphones, blowing my eardrums out with All the ways I thought I could civilly disobey every authority figure in my life Who thought they actually meant something to me and cared about me. But that was middle school and I was still little. I hit ninth grade, high school, With bloody knuckles and people who were afraid of me because of

I've been waging and winning wars since before I was born. My mother didn't know she was pregnant with me / before you could ever get on TV for that very reason; She was four months along when the pregnancy finally became known And she stopped taking her birth control. Show of hands, how many of you know what that can do To a developing baby? Because she didn't. She was seventeen and scared, With a good fiancee and a four year old and a thousand doctors telling her that Abortion was the best option, the only option, Because I was supposed to have cerebral palsy, And their professional opinion was that a teenaged mother Would not have been ab

Z: Zippy. “What one would call someone who was full of energy and unable to calm down.” After fourteen and a half years of life, it took Alex two skipped meals and a rude comment from Wolf to make Alex realize he had hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar. They had had a small breakfast and were told to go on an all day hike; an endurance test or something of the sort. It had been okay at first--- Cub could keep up with his unit on most things, anyways, but once it hist midday, Cub began to slow his pace. He was shaking uncontrollably, had double and blurry vision (which was quite disorienting), and almost four hours into the hike, C

Y: Young “Being youthful.” Alex is a spy because he is young and capable of being one. He is good at what he does because his enemies don't suspect him. And even though his job has somewhat ruined his life, Alex enjoys being a young spy. He takes a certain entertainment from the fact that, even though he won't, he could kill the people starting rumors about him without a sound. He could do it in fifty different ways, and it could all look accidental or suicidal. He finds it funny how he can manipulate a conversation so bad that the main topic will be why he's gone so much and the topic he eased the person into will be what they

X: X-mas. “The holiday of Christmas. December 25th.” Alex had never experienced a holiday other than his birthday. Which really didn't count, because he didn't like his birthday. Even with Jack, Alex never did anything. The red-headed American usually flew home for the holidays, and Ian just never celebrated them. And for some reason, this came to a complete and utter shock to the four men Alex called K-Unit. Since Jack had been sent back to America against her will, Alex had went to Brecon Beacons. He was situated wit K-Unit again, and the four soldiers were a lot better than the first time around. Wold considered Cub a part o